The last time I talked to my dad, about three years ago, he
asked me if I like to drink.
“Yes,” I said, which was the truth.
“You know I’m an alcoholic,” he said.
“Uh-huh.”
“Your grandfather was an alcoholic, too.”
“Okay.”
“So was your great grandfather.”
“What are you trying to say?” I asked.
“You should be careful.”
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”
Sometimes people get an idea of who you are that doesn’t quite match up with reality. This inconsistent image of you may have been influenced by what people have said about you, or by what this person wants you to be, or even by how you look. They may also have known you when you were young, and now you’ve been locked into that immature state in their mind forever.
Whatever the reason, once this image of you passes into someone’s brain it’s very hard to get rid of. This seems to happen to me a lot with older women who very much want to take me under their wing. They know the way, and want to teach me how to get on in the world. They see me as someone who is capable, but in need of guidance.
And while the idea of having a mentor is nice—someone to look up to, someone to ask advice from, someone who can give you insight into how the world works—I’ve never found someone whom I can really look up to. Someone I can honestly say I want to be like. At least, no one in real life. There’s a few fictional characters I wouldn’t mind taking a few pointers from. So please, just because someone is younger than you are, doesn’t mean she’ll automatically want to be just like you.